DG on the road: scallops and such

I feel as though I owe my loyal blogreaders an explanation for this extended absence, and it is this: I have been busy like you would not believe. Between roller derby, teaching two classes, and embarking upon a new profession as an admissions counselor for WKU, I was lucky to grab five minutes to scarf down a crust of bread, much less create a pseudo-gourmet dinner. I did actually cook Thanksgiving dinner (for five people! no one died!) and dutifully took pictures of it, but my trusty old Kodak finally ceased focusing. Since no one wants to see fuzzy ham, I decided to take a break for a while since I was going crazy anyway. I am happy to announce that I received a brand-new midnight-blue Coolpix for Christmas, though, so let the dumbassery resume with gusto!

(The townspeople rejoice. Go on, rejoice!)

Speaking of rejoicing, check out my new GourMetpron! It comes courtesy of my Aunt Patti, who is so awesome she’s also my derby namesake. (That would be Patti Whack!, terror of the rink. Go on, try to hit me. I will knock your face off.)

Ruffles! I love ruffles.

I am currently smack in the middle of Christmas Tour ’09, which has landed me in Newport News, Virginia, with The Best Friend. The bonus of this location — besides the obvious — is that it’s much closer to the ocean than southcentral Kentucky. As I’m less than experienced in the ways of seafood cooking, we decided seafood cooking would offer the best chance of dumbassery. Since that’s what we’re all here for, we headed to Harris Teeter for some scallops, then hit Trader Joe’s for brussel sprouts, mushroom risotto, and baby portobello mushrooms to beef up said risotto.

No appendages were harmed in the dicing of these mushrooms.

Oh yeah, and we stopped by Food Lion for some liquid refreshments:

I chose Arbor Mist because it reminds me of being flat broke and in college. Mmm … flat broke.

The Best Friend was named the Scallop Preparer by default since she cooked scallops once before and they turned out spectacularly. (She has that effect on things.) As the risotto bubbled merrily on the stove, she busied herself preparing to bake our fine fishy friends. Virginia, like most of the South, suffers from humidity levels that clump the seasonings in their bottles, so she thwacked each one on the counter before shaking it onto the scallops.

Whoops.

It was a slight setback, but we rallied. An additional unexpected setback came in the form of cat yarfage courtesy of The Best Friend’s beautiful feline and a dish of shrimp, but luckily she handled that while I suddenly became intensely interested in stirring the risotto.

ForMicha, pre-yarf.

The scallops were seasoned with garlic powder, onion powder, and seasoning salt, then baked. The brussels sprouts, which we bought specifically because The Great Daddoo told us that fresh sprouts could beat up frozen sprouts with one hand tied behind their back (taste-wise, of course, not literally), were steamed in the microwave and tossed with butter and a little seasoning salt, and the risotto turned out so nicely, not even Gordon Ramsay could swear at it. (Although he probably would.)

Delicious!

People, I am so excited to get back into the swing of DG! One can only eat fast food and Totino’s frozen pizzas at midnight while grading papers in my derby gear for so long, you know. It’s time to dust off the Betty Crocker cookbook and see what there is to see! My Sims have started making French, Chinese, and Egyptian cuisine, so maybe it’s time for me to figure out what in the world shawarma is and attempt to make it. For now, though, the Arbor Mist is waiting.