honey mustard pork chops

The first time I ate asparagus, I was on a date in New York City. I was wearing my favorite polka-dot dress with the ribbon that tied around my waist and my ankle-strap heels, and I was with a boy named Cory who wanted very much to impress me. We stopped at a little Italian restaurant and he ordered asparagus with parmesan cheese, which we shared, probably in that mushy obnoxious way that people on dates do. Now is where I say something schmaltzy like, “… and Cory and I still love asparagus to this day,” but you all know that’s a load of horse schmoo. Cory and I lost touch years ago, but every time I have asparagus I think of him and that tiny restaurant, which I bet is exactly how boys who were trying desperately to impress a girl want to be remembered.

Anyway, I was trying to re-create that awesome asparagus the other night and came across a recipe for sauteed asparagus that sounded interesting. I usually boil it, but that’s such an inexact science for a dumbass who never sets a timer or keeps an eye on anything so it usually comes out one step too far toward the “mushy” side. After chopping off the gross bottoms, I dropped the stalks into a frying pan with some butter and diced garlic and sort-of pushed them around for a while:

Crispy!

Meanwhile, the oven was incubating one of our favorite dishes: honey-mustard pork chops. The sauce is, exactly as it says, a mix of honey, dijon mustard, and a smidge of chili powder. I decided to indulge The Husband’s fiery tooth and squeeze in a little spicy brown mustard and cayenne pepper as well, then spread the mix over the pork chops. While they were cooking and the asparagus was saute-ing, I minced some more garlic and boiled up some egg noodles, and here’s what it looked like when everything finally came together:

I didn’t have any grated parmesan, so I used asiago instead.

I wish I would have drizzled some extra sauce on this chop before taking the picture, because as it is here it looks a little boring. Trust me, though: the taste is absolutely amazing, and I was beyond thrilled with the asiago-dusted asparagus and egg noodles. I finished the meal in minutes, then brought the pan containing the leftover egg noodles into the living room so I could snack on those while watching TV. The leftovers I ate at work the next day were just as good, which is saying something because normally leftovers are the realm of The Husband. (I can only stand certain reheated foods, and apparently, strangely, pork chops are on that list.)

In other news, my two favorite reality shows, “The Amazing Race” and “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” are back on the air! I don’t have a favorite team on TAR yet, although I like that grandma’s tenacity, but Pandora Boxx has emerged as my favorite drag queen on RuPaul’s show even after a hairdo I didn’t like in the first episode made me think she might be a hot mess. In previous years I had three favorite reality shows, with “America’s Next Top Model” rounding out the trio, but ever since Tyra got all crazy and started inventing words like “smize,” I’m over it. RuPaul may wear evening gowns and stilettos, but at least he doesn’t make up words. (Also, his video messages to the contestants are called “She Mail,” which makes me laugh every time.)

Coming soon: stuffed shells! I’ve had empty pasta shells sitting in my cabinet since Christmastime, so I think this weekend I’m going to turn them into something delicious. Stay tuned!